On Not Turning Back

From my reading today…

Many set themselves the aim of rescuing the indifferent and the lazy — and end up lost themselves. The flame within them gets dim with the passage of time. So, if you have the fire, run, since you never know when it may be doused, leaving you stranded in darkness. Not all of us are summoned to rescue others. “My brothers, each one of us will give an account of himself to God,” says the holy Apostle (Rom. 14:12). Again, he declares, “You teach someone else, but not yourself” (Rom. 2:21). It is as if he were saying, “I do not know about the others, but we have surely to look to what we must do ourselves.”

… Then again we manage for some time to live away from our relatives. We practice a little piety, compunction, self-control. And then the empty thoughts come tramping toward us, seeking to turn us back to the places we knew. They tell us what a lesson we are, what an example, what a help to those who witnessed our former wicked deeds. If we happen to be articulate and well informed, they assure us that we could be rescuers of souls and teachers to the world. They tell us all this so that we might scatter at sea the treasures we have assembled while in port. So we had better imitate Lot, and certainly not his wife. The soul turning back to the regions from which it came will be like the salt that has lost its savor, indeed like that famous pillar. Run from Egypt, run and do not turn back. The heart yearning for the land there will never see Jerusalem, the land of dispassion.

~ St. John Climacus, Ladder of Divine Ascent, Step 3, “On Exile”

… It relates to St. Mary of Egypt fleeing and not turning back to try to convert her sisters in sin. Our new priest, Fr. Tim, was talking last night about how today such a convert as St. Mary would be pressured (in many churches) to go evangelize others, to share her story, to “witness”. Instead, she flees into the desert. Compare how much influence she has in the long run of history.